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Ulka


somewhere in the clouds she breathed, I saw 
the sanctuary that you built for her
now you live in the trails of meteor showers
that stream down her cheeks 
in the ghostly hours
she speaks of you in peals of laughter
a hysterically proud little grand-daughter 
in caskets of inherited wit and wisdom,
you guard her world and guide her freedom.

you're the irreplaceable single frame 
film reel in a town 
that made you their religion 
on the day that you were found.
it must be nicer in the heavens above,
now that you're among the stars that you love
she says, "she would've loved you,"
and somewhere within, I feel a tiny spark of pride that had never been
mine to call since life wore me down
and yet here I am,
writing about someone as sweet as a song
sung in my lover's mother tongue.

from poems about my lovers to 
poems about their grandmothers 
I watch how the ways I love have grown
I wonder if that's what you'd tell me, had you known 
me while you were still here with us.
the missed calls to your number
the handkerchief you left
the house you turned into home 
and the elbows you lent
the daughter you raised who'd conquer the world if she wanted to, she says
she wanted a girl but ended up getting the best of both worlds.

and now that girl is the closest thing I have
to the stars that I love and the sky I sing to
when the world is scary, I need caves to bury
myself into her arms held out just for me.
I sit and listen to the tales of your life
she never got the chance to say goodbye
pages kept turning but you weren't returning
now you haunt her dreams instead of reality
who would've known? 
what could've been?
but I see her reflection in your eulogy
immortalized by a love so strong, it shows
how beautifully her existence
ties yours in a neat bow.

and so somewhere in the clouds she breathes, I see
the sanctuary that you built for me
now you live in the trails of meteor showers
that stream down her cheeks 
in the ghostly hours
she speaks of you in peals of laughter
a hysterically proud little grand-daughter 
in caskets of inherited wit and wisdom,
you guard her world and guide her freedom.



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